Troubled Hearts

 I guess it has now been almost a month since my mentor pastor, Rev. Charles Brewster passed away.  It was sad that he left this world and I do dearly miss him.  My husband, Chris & I were not able to make the initial memorial service in Dallas, TX.  It just did not work out - we were both in the middle of a vacation and I had a class the week of the memorial service. 

In seminary we are taught that funerals and memorial services are more for the living - to help honor the loss of the loved one and also help begin the mourning process. In CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education or Chaplaincy) we explored the various ways a person may grieve.  Some people move quickly into the next phase of their life while others take years to understand what has happened.  Basically mourning is a personal process and everyone deals with it differently.

I recently received a phone call from Charles' brother Fred.  Fred was calling because he was going through Charles' things and wanted them to go to people that would need or use them.  Charles had had a large library when he lived in New York but only brought his most favorite books with him to Dallas, TX.  I felt honored that Fred thought of me.  At first he was just going to bring them with him to the New York City memorial service in September for my perusal but decided to send me some books that I could use for the ordination exams.

The box arrived promptly on Monday at 1pm.  I opened the box and found Charles' beloved Greek Bible bound in a maroon leather followed by other Greek texts and Commentaries.  I opened a TNIV Bible that was towards the bottom of the box and leafed to John.  The Bible opened to John 14:1-4 spoken by Jesus:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going.”

I remembered someone mentioning that Charles wanted his memorial service to be a joyous occasion.  Initially I couldn't understand this.  Funerals, I thought, were for crying and mourning.  But mourning can take on different forms.  This passage reminded me that Charles had lived the type of life that God had called him to live.  Charles had touched so many people.  It was evident by the number of visits he received in Dallas, Tx from people from around the globe.  It was evident from his brother Fred's diligent care while Charles was alive and his careful tending to Charles belongings following his death.

Charles' passing is sad and I do miss him.  But this passage reminded me that Charles has been called home. That Charles is delighting in the face of God, in the face of the Maker, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. I can take comfort in that and hope to use what Charles has taught me about really living a Christian life in my life. Do not let your hearts be troubled... you know the place where I am going.